Here I am 8 months post op. It's crazy how time moves so quickly. I honestly think having a hysterectomy has changed me a bit. Some good and some bad. I am the same ole me but there are parts of me missing and parts I have gained back. I have a huge problem with trusting someone. I put my guard up so I don't get hurt because I feel like I give so much of myself to everyone. My heart has been destroyed and I've been used. To think back on how immature I was back then and let people walk all over me. I felt
Like I never had a voice. I am starting to get my voice back. I believe that being blatantly honest is something that you need to do especially in a relationship... yes I said relationship. It has been far too long since I've said that word. To actually open up to someone and let my guard down is a scary thing. Starting a new relationship scares the shit out of me. I don't remember what it feels like I feel like I need a handbook for something. Oh and when it comes to showing feelings or getting compliments, I can't tuck and roll fast enough. Okay maybe I'm being a little dramatic. I am starting to trust again and feel comfortable with someone. Who would've thought after the last 5 or so years that I would make it to a second date? So maybe it took having my life flipped upside down to start being who I was before. I guess the old me never left and it was always there. Sometimes we have to do what scares us and we have to let our guards down. Not every is a stupid jerk face cheater.. (see what I did there?)
So for now, let's see where the wind takes me
