So one year ago today my life changed. I wasn't nervous I just walked in and went through the motions of giving up my chances to ever have my own children. I thought I could be strong, but lately I have hit such a wall. I keep wondering why me. I don't know what I did that was so wrong In life. I wonder where I would be now without endo. Would I be married with kids? Would I actually not have any worries? I know people try to reassure saying oh you can adopt. Please don't... because it's not the same to someone who wanted to feel someone inside their belly. The only thing I've experience is having a uterus and cervix being pulled from my vagina. I guess you can say I gave birth to my uterus. (SARCASM). I feel like I just need to escape my life. I just want to scream to be honest. Endo keeps chasing me and I just keep drowning deeper and deeper. I will say I am pretty good at acting. Especially when I come into work and just go through the motions. I honestly saw myself in a bigger better place than this. It's difficult to date, all anyone wants is sex, and no one wants to date the sick girl that sometimes can't get out of bed because the pain is too much to bear. Yes those types of men seem to exist and for some reason I attract those types. Lucky Me.
So yes, happy hysterversary. All I got out of this day is a iced tea from Starbucks and a long 8 hours of work.
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