Who Am I?

Many are wondering who I am and why did I start this blog. I know I gave a little introduction when I first decided to put everything on the web years ago. My name is Allison and I am 33 years old from Rhode Island. I work full time, go to graduate school and live among the chaos that are known as Max and Winslow- my two cats. I decided to write a blog after seeing so many young women that suffer with endometriosis didn't know where to turn to or they didn't know why no one was listening after failed attempts with doctors. Well to my 176 million women young and old, I am here and I listen. I'm living with it and just know that there are people out there that believe you.

I was first diagnosed surgically at 22 years old after playing doctor bingo, many unsuccessful trips to the emergency room, and feeling like no one believed me. At 22, I will say that I was uneducated with the proper treatment and I didn't know any better. I had two ablations between 22 and 24. Both I feel screwed me up on the long end. If I could give anyone a word of advice, please please PLEASE, find a true excision expert. I feel as though if I would've known that at 22, that I would probably be less worse than I am now. I know that getting excision covered by insurance is a challenge but ladies, you fight every day, and there are people out there that can help you, I was lucky to have my excision covered during my last procedure but having excision, obviously is not a cure but to cut out what is trying to invade your body, to lessen the pain, it is worth it. I had adenomyosis so my uterus was literally trying to kill me and a hysterectomy is not a cure for endo either. The reason I chose to have a hysterectomy was because of the adeno. I couldn't live with that pain, however, I live with the pain of never having children but that's something I have learned to understand that things happen for a reason.

When I am not doing what I can to fight for a cure and fight for this disease I love to travel. Mostly to nice warm places but I am doing what I can to get to Europe next year. There is so much to see and experience and I want to dive right in. Besides traveling, I am such a homebody. I love to hang at home and snuggle up with a good book or binge watch TV. There is no significant other in the picture and there hasn't been for longer than I can think of, but that's fine with me. If it happens, it happens. I will say I am a catch I mean who wouldn't want a bad ass warrior who has two cats and spends 90 percent of their day breaking out in song? 🤣 I mean trust me I wouldn't mind sharing my chaotic life with someone. But, if endo has taught me anything, it has taught me that I am stronger than I think. That, I will not chase someone and if someone wants to be in my life that they will make an effort to be there. I could write a novel about my past relationships, and I could also tell you that I made myself all to available and have thrown myself in something because I just wanted to feel loved. And how did that work out for me ? lol. Love shouldn't be rushed, it should be with someone you trust, and someone that can make you laugh and support you. Now here I am going off topic but not really. I mean everyone deserves to be happy and I honestly hope that all my sisters get that, whatever it may be.

I know that my mission in life is to help people whatever it may be. So to my 176 million women, you are not alone. There are people that love you and support you. Do not give up.

What Endo Feels Like

The question that many have asked me is what does endometriosis feel like? Well I feel that everyones body is different and something that I feel may feel different to another woman suffering with this incurable disease. When I first felt the pain, I was about 11 or 12. I know I was very young. When I had my period it was unbearable, I couldn't sit or stand or lay down. The only thing that worked was rocking. I would sit and rock with my heating pad. No types of medication would touch it. This pain was constant even without my period. After my first and second lap, the pain I would tell my doctors is that Edward Scissor Hands was inside my body, some women describe it as barbed wire. To me, it felt like someone dragging metals objects inside my entire reproductive system. The few months prior to my hysterectomy my doctor was switching out my IUD and he was placing the new one in and it mimicked that same exact pain that I felt but 10 times worse. That was adenomyosis which is why I chose to have the hysterectomy. If I still had my uterus I could swear to you that I would've killed myself. Honestly. That pain was so bad. Now even without a uterus or cervix, the pain comes and goes, and its daily. Some days are bad and some days aren't. There are times where I'm curled up in a ball rocking to stop the pain. I haven't been sleeping lately, that's my new thing, when I sleep I get this jab on my lower left side and it sends chills up my body. It feels almost like someone put me in an electric chair and turned on the power for a few seconds.

Like I said, everyones pain is different and maybe some are the same, but we are all made different and my minor day of pain could be a debilitating day for someone else. As I am sitting here Indian style typing this, I feel the pain pulsating on my left side. That is where my left ovary is twisted and embedded in the disease. I know it will get worse but for now I have to do what I do best, and that's smile through the pain and hope that maybe this pain will go away, that maybe tomorrow someone will come up with a cure.