Pre Op

I’m mentally preparing myself for 13 hours today and 16 hours tomorrow, all while not being on medication because surgery is on Wednesday so I’m just a basket full of endometriosis right now.

My pre op lasted 30 minutes And I asked the doctor am I crazy? Because I’ve had two ablation surgeries back in my 20s and I’m wondering if that made me screwed up in the long run.  What he basically said was by them burning the Endo it made it easier for scar tissue to build up, so basically the insides of my body are being cemented together. So now he has to go in and work through all that scar tissue then cut out the endo and unstick my organs. When he said that, my entire soul was crushed.  I can’t go back and think of the what if’s  because there was nobody to blame but those doctors that were poorly trained in the proper diagnosis of endometriosis. I am super scared of what’s going to happen because all I’m imagining is somebody taking a drill to my insides because of it being cemented together. I haven’t slept and I’m just so ready for the healing to begin. I can’t wait to just focus on me for a bit. I’ve been too busy worrying about relationships and everyone else’s problems that it’s time to focus on me.