July 16th

A year ago my life changed. My Fiancé, Jeremy, passed away in his sleep from an accidental overdose. It was the combination of cocaine/fentanyl/alcohol that killed him. I do not know the full story and there are days that I wish I knew what happened in the moment and also there was a part of me that wished he was at my house and I could've saved him. I also wish that he would've communicated to me that he was struggling and needed help because I never saw it coming. 

When I found out that he passed away the first thing I did besides breakdown was go through my medicine cabinet to count my pills and everything was there. I just didn't understand why and I know it was an accident. The person he was when he was with me was the person I will forever be grateful for. I really thought that a year later I would be mentally drained on his anniversary but I kept myself busy. 

When it comes to grief there are a million ways of dealing with it. No ones grief is ever the same. With me, I just take what we had and think of that. I honestly wish he was still here because I will forever love that man. He will always have that place in my heart and the memories that we had will never go away. I am not mad at him or disappointed. I will forever forgive him because we all make mistakes.

I will forever love you Jeremy Patrick Cooper.